Article Contents:
Midlife Professional Dilemma:
In recent times, one of the patterns or trends I have seen among my friends and colleagues is that some people are unhappy with their current job or career despite the best salary and high positional status at reputed organizations with good friends and colleagues.
They do not like the existing routine lifestyle and feel unsatisfied internally even though their family, employer, and society admire them for their professional contributions, personal wealth creation, etc.
At the same time, they are still figuring out what they want and what will make them feel self-satisfied. They are also worried about the consequences if they make any emotional decisions and lose the current privileges they enjoy. The state of confusion continues. They are in a dilemma and need clarity.
Generally, it is referred to as a Midlife Crisis, and I do not want to term it a crisis or a midlife professional dilemma.
I want to give my perspectives on midlife professional dilemma based on my personal experiences as i have gone through it at some point.
One needs to understand the reasons for the dilemma, overcome some misconceptions and challenges, and learn how to overcome them for a peaceful life ahead. Sharing my experiences and views may help you if you encounter the same dilemma.
What is meant by the midlife professional dilemma?
What is meant by the midlife professional dilemma?
The midlife professional dilemma is a period or phase of life when a person starts questioning whether whatever i have accomplished in life is meaningful or not; whatever i do now will give a sense of fulfillment down the years, say ten years / 20 years, or even when i leave this world.
Why is it called a midlife professional dilemma?
Some human studies indicate that people usually feel this lack of fulfillment in middle age, between 35 and 65 years old.
- There may be exceptions as well. One doesn’t need to experience emotional turmoil only during the specified period.
- Not necessarily all should go through the phase of dilemma. Some may go through this phase, and some may not.
How to deal with it?
First, we should “accept the dilemma” as such. It is not a disease or sin.
Someone getting that feeling of non-fulfillment means they are destined to do something else. Allow it to happen. Not to panic or worry about the consequences at the initial stage. Naturally, one will get the direction right.
When I started my career after college, my only ambition was to become a manager and once i achieved it, my desire changed to become a CEO of a company of 200 cr size. Life was going well in the same direction. Slowly, I was losing interest in pursuing a career in the typical path, and something was disturbing me. A dilemma lingered in me for almost three years when I was 36.
The point is that we do not know when it will happen and why it happens. Once a strong disturbance occurs, let us accept and embrace it …you will get a clear direction soon.
Challenges in midlife professional dilemma
we discussed the meaning of midlife professional dilemma and the need for accepting as such to evolve eventually as time gives the right direction. The midlife professional dilemma is not a crisis or survival issue but more about questioning the purpose of existing lifestyle and work.
Let us understand some challenges and misconceptions when dealing with midlife professional dilemmas.
Trying to escape from current reality:
Some of us think that choosing an alternative career or path will help us to overcome our current problems.
For example, in the current working organization, if someone does not like the work/boss/colleagues and is bored with the existing routine work, one starts to think they have a midlife professional dilemma.
It is not a dilemma; it is a temporary fatigue or setback.
The solution requires either a job change or taking on new responsibilities. In that way, the dilemma will disappear.
I came across many of my friends whenever there is a tricky situation in the office, work is not challenging, they call me and say, “Can I start my own as something is calling me?”.
After some time, the confusion or the temporary problem is solved in the existing work, and they remain in the same organization.
One of my childhood friends has been in the same dilemma for the last ten years and has yet to make a significant decision. Instead, he has changed many jobs and titles . Fake dilemma. Nothing wrong with that.
We should not confuse setbacks with dilemmas and make impulsive or wrong decisions.
Any hasty decisions significantly affect personal peace, professional growth, and financial security.
The solution would be either a job change or trying out new responsibilities in the existing organization rather than experimenting with a career change.
Choosing the right alternative path:
A real midlife professional dilemma can be subsidized only when we take the alternative path aligned with our purpose and values.
The typical pattern I look out for when people are unhappy with their existing jobs is choosing an alternative career path in training or consulting.
Most assume that getting into training or advisory roles is the easiest option, given that they have reasonable communication skills and domain knowledge. In reality, professions like training and consulting are more challenging than we think. The profession needs a different skill set and knowledge than functional competency.
Developing those skills takes time, and we need to persevere to get success in that profession.
One of the reasons for people to choose this path is less investment except for personal time, thereby assuming less risk.
In reality, I have known many friends who got into consulting and training as an alternate career in midlife and could not sustain it to their level of expectation. Some of them returned to regular work. Nothing is wrong in life as long as we choose any choice and own it.
Choosing a training or consulting is advisable only when you have deep passion and desire to share your knowledge or expertise with others…Otherwise, other alternative paths exist.
Some of my clients started entrepreneurship in manufacturing as an outcome of a midlife dilemma. With sheer passion, hard work, and family support, they managed many hurdles in entrepreneurship, and after a decade, they are doing extraordinarily well. They may now find meaning in their life.
The point is that if one has a deep passion and desire to share knowledge with others, one can choose training or consulting.
The issue is how one knows they have a deep passion for sharing as a fading passion exists after some time.
Let us discuss some aspects of misunderstanding passion and dealing with it
Midlife Dilemma- Passion Vs Hobby
we discussed the meaning of midlife dilemma and the need for accepting as such to evolve along with time as time gives the right direction. The midlife dilemma is not a crisis or survival issue but more about questioning its purpose.
Some of the mistakes we make to overcome the dilemma are escaping from reality and choosing perceived low-risk options. The third mistake most of us make is not recognizing the difference between passion and hobby, thereby wrongly venturing.
We may be experiencing nonfulfillment in our existing career and trying to overcome it. In the process, we justify ourselves by saying that we pursue new ventures as our passion.
Understanding Passion Vs. Hobby
Passion can be defined as a strong feeling of enthusiasm to do something.
It can not be done part-time or whenever you find time
Passion is something you will give your life, and you continue to do it even if there is a struggle or setback.
A hobby is something you do for FUN.
You do it whenever you find the time or feel bored.
The hobby will not affect your work or survival even if you do not do it.
For example,
Sachin Tendulkar plays cricket as a passion, whereas we play it as a hobby.
Professional composers do music as a passion, whereas amateurs do it as a hobby.
How will this understanding help to overcome the midlife dilemma?
We will not succumb to fake dilemmas and make mistakes when we have this clear understanding.
I have witnessed my friends and known people who have succeeded and failed.
One of my friends was considering leaving corporate life as he assumed he had a deep passion for public speaking and wanted to do it full-time. Nothing wrong with the intention. He came out and started doing public speaking as a full-time professional. Quickly, he realized that it was not his passion and required some skillset that he was not interested in learning.
He went into another profession where he could use his communication skills. Full-time public speaking is not the right choice for him. That is due to a lack of clear understanding between passion and hobby.
How could he avoid that bitter experience?
He could have tested public speaking while working in corporate part-time or freelance. That pre-test would have shown him whether he loved the profession deeply or a hobby.
On the contrary, I know one person succeeded in teaching. He switched to the stock market as an analyst and trader with passion. In the initial years, he consistently learned and shared his knowledge with others daily. He had gone through many ups and downs. Still, he is pursuing that profession, as he used to mention that he is breathing analysis and trading in and out. That is what passion brings to the person. Passion will improve resilience, not a hobby.
I also made the mistake of doing motivational sessions for college students, which i assumed as my passion in my earlier days. Later, I realized that i could not sustain it forever and shifted my focus to something else. It was due to a lack of understanding between passion and hobby.
In midlife, we will get into a dilemma and need clarification with passion and hobby. The confusion can be avoided by experimenting offline or freelance before plunging into significant venturing.
We have discussed the nature of the midlife professional dilemma and some of the mistakes we make in diagnosing the dilemma as a natural or temporary setback in the existing work. Clarity between a deep desire or passion to do something and a hobby will help from making impulsive decisions.
Assuming you have clarity on what makes you more fulfilled and decide on the path, the next step is to prepare some aspects to venture firmly and confidently.
Learn more about the new venture:
Awareness is the first requirement for a successful life. It would be best if you learned more about the new venture, its nitty-gritty, and what some other successful people have already done in the field.
For example, if you decide to start a manufacturing company, knowledge about the product, process, financial aspects, marketplace, and challenges will give you some edge rather than venturing only with your technical background or passion for manufacturing.
The learning methodology could be by reading books, browsing media content, and speaking to known people who are already doing similar activities.
When i was in a dilemma about getting into the training profession, i sought help from a professional personal coach. He asked me, “How much would you charge daily?”. The question seemed silly as i was only excited about a new venture, and i answered, “No idea.” Then he gave me practical aspects of business and insisted on knowing more about the profession and getting into it. It made sense.
My key learning from the conversation was that passion alone would not help to sustain for the longer term. There are other basic elements we need to know before venturing.
Then i spoke to many people, read more about entrepreneurship books to learn their approach to business and challenges, browsed some training organization websites to get some idea about their business model, etc. To some extent, those efforts helped to gain confidence and unlearn corporate learning!.
Getting family support:
Getting family support is one of the critical success factors for new ventures. One should understand that we are not starting anything at a young age after college; for them, there is nothing to lose as every year is rewarding as they start from scratch.
However, in midlife, you and your family have already enjoyed and are comfortable with a particular lifestyle. You may be passionate about doing something, and family members may not relate to it easily.
Hence, it is your prime responsibility to get the family support by spending time with them to elaborate on new ideas or ventures, challenges, likely changes in lifestyle, financial security aspects, etc., and you must get 100 % support from family members.
As i mentioned sometime back, our life is fulfilled only to the extent we balance all aspects of life most of the time. Only materialistic or professional success will not fulfill us in the long run.
I have seen many successful people who ventured into new in their midlife, and one common phrase i hear is “My family supports me. “ That is true.
For some people, getting the family support would be a challenge. It would take time, and one has to be patient.
Midlife Dilemma to Action
We have discussed the Midlife professional dilemma and some of our mistakes in understanding it. Once we have clarity, the next step is to prepare for the transition.
We highlighted the importance of
- Knowing more about the new venture
- Getting the family support.
The next aspect of preparation is Ensuring Financial security.
Ensuring Financial security :
Financial security is all about the ability to afford all the expenses based on the lifestyle.
We must remember that one is venturing into a new area in middle age. During that time, one will have more financial commitments like children’s education, insurance, housing, and other regular expenses based on one’s lifestyle.
Also, as one enters a new venture, there is no guarantee that a previous position and employment will provide immediate financial comfort. One needs to work hard to prove one’s worthiness to the market to earn financial income. It may take time.
In the above context, one would need to work out the financial obligations and secure them before venturing. In my experience, one must ensure at least 3 ~ 5 years of expenses as security money in different asset classes, particularly liquid assets.
If one is lucky, one can get the financial gain within a year or two. However, this is only the case for some people. I know some people cannot withstand the initial 3~5 years of financial burden and have returned to previous employment even though they have the skills and ambition to do something worthy of their self-fulfillment. That is the reality of financial threats in life, especially when one has to come from the comfort zone of living one lifestyle, and that too in middle age.
One more mistake people make is getting into a new venture with debts in housing or personal vehicles. The new venture needs your focus in the initial years, and you should not deviate due to the worries of repayment of debts, managing monthly expenses, etc. It is better to venture once all the financial obligations are met. It is not a struggle for us alone; we make our family go through those unnecessary struggles due to the timing of the venture without securing finance, at least in the beginning years.
There are different schools of thought that having a deep problem with money will create a fire to run a new venture more successfully. It may be valid for a few people; in reality, one will have peace of mind and even be ready to work hard if there is no financial burden during the beginning of the venture, or even a mature businessman can do better if there are no financial worries.
We must assess our mindset and willpower to sustain business ventures amidst financial insecurity.
Preparing for transition
We have discussed the Midlife dilemma and some of our mistakes in understanding it. Once we have clarity, the next step is to prepare for the transition, and we have discussed the following aspects.
- Knowing more about the new venture
- Getting the family support.
- Ensuring Financial security
The other aspects of preparation are
Business Planning :
Business planning is visualizing and documenting future business goals, timelines, and methods of achieving them.
This will help us in navigating the business through milestones.
Most of the time, when we prepare business planning from outside the business, the business plan would be with rosy scenarios, and assumptions are optimistic because we have yet to gain real business experience. However, the key benefit is that one can go through the “What if” scenario when preparing the plan, which helps to visualize any pitfalls.
The best part of getting most of the business plan is showing it to a trusted person or mentor who will give constructive feedback. It happened to me as well.
I prepared a business plan with ambitious targets, milestones, etc, and showed it to one of my dearest friends. He looked at the plan from an external perspective and asked some critical questions about the assumptions, which helped me to rethink the strategy.
However, the process of preparing a business plan helped me to visualize the picture of what may go wrong and what could be plan B.
Hence, preparing rough business plans is a good practice.
Developing the right skills for a new venture:
When venturing new, one can not be successful only with the core skill or domain capabilities. One needs to understand the skill set required for a new venture and try to learn it.
For example, when you start a new manufacturing business, you need to learn some basic skills of financial analysis, selling, marketing, etc. Learning any new skill will take time. Still, it would be best to prepare yourself to learn a skill.
Before venturing, you must prepare mentally and financially. Be open to new challenges, as you have not experienced those challenges in your previous career.
Managing Transition
We have discussed the “Midlife dilemma” and some ways to prepare for a new venture in middle age.
Assuming that you have prepared enough to study new ventures, get family support and financial security, and do business planning, the next stage is getting into venturing.
Getting into a new venture is relatively more straightforward than sustaining for some time, which is essential and challenging for many. Some people may take one to three years or even five years to stabilize. It depends on the person’s attitude, skill set, and the type of venture one gets into.
That duration can be termed as “Transition Time.”
Managing that transition time successfully will pave the path for growth.
First, one must ensure “ Survival,” and only then will “ Growth” be considered.
Some of the areas one needs to focus on during the Transition Period based on my personal experience
Execution of deliveries/customer service:
One crucial area to focus on is meeting the existing customer’s expectation of the product or service. When the current customer is happy with your delivery capabilities, they give more orders or they refer to others.
To meet the delivery, internal capabilities need to be focused and strengthened.
In that stage, you will get only a few customers, and if you focus on making them happy, they will give more business, which takes care of your business’s survival or stability.
Marketing :
At this stage, spending money and time on marketing may give little results as the market will look for credibility and endorsements.
Instead, you can depend on your close friends and professional networks to communicate about your new ventures, and most likely, you will get referrals.
In my earlier time of new ventures, I got most of my initial sales orders through my past colleagues, well-wishers, and friends only.
Once you achieve stability, you can develop your branding awareness and communication and spend on marketing expenses or efforts.
Financials aspects:
One of the challenging areas one never faced in the earlier profession is managing finances, but a new venture demands your time to manage finances. It includes tracking expenses and revenues, monitoring the collections and payables, or simply working capital management.
During this phase, maintaining a simple lifestyle or reserving the cash for uncertainties will be wise behavior than investing the excess money in other assets or luxurious spending.
Other aspects, like recruiting and engaging the right people, can be focus areas from a people’s perspective. Managing people is a different skill set; one must learn at all stages.
To sum up, getting into a new venture is easy, but navigating the transition time is crucial for long-term success, which one needs to be aware of and take focused actions accordingly.
Summary
Let us summarize the key learnings.
The midlife professional dilemma is a period or phase of life when a person starts questioning whether whatever we have accomplished in life is meaningful; whatever we do now will give a sense of fulfillment down the years, say 10 years / 20 years, or even when we leave this world.
If this thought process frequently disturbs us, we must accept it and give it some time.
It is a natural process of evolution, meaning you are destined to do something more than what you are doing.
Next, validate the thought process, whether a deep desire or, a temporary setback, or a trying to escape from the current reality. We can experiment offline or on weekends to validate whether we want to do something with passion or a hobby. If it is a real passion, you will enjoy it. If it is a hobby, you are giving outlet, and your lingering will subsidize soon. Either way, you will have clarity.
As soon as you have the clarity to venture into new, you’ll need to prepare the following areas.
- Knowing more about the new venture
- Getting family support
- Securing financial security
- Making rough business planning
- Getting the mindset and developing a new skillset
With reasonable preparation, the next step is getting into a new venture or action.
The initial three to five years will be transition time, and managing it well will help to grow further.
During the transition stage, one needs to focus on the following.
- Delivering the right services to customer
- Keeping lifestyle simple
- Conservative on cost
- Improving visibility
Then, we may ensure that we are sailing right.
The reality will be after some time in a new venture, unique challenges will emerge from a growth perspective. That is a new battle; we must handle it, and life moves on.
One thing is certain: when you manage the midlife dilemma well, you will feel fulfilled as you live your life as you desire.
The ultimate purpose of life is to live a life in line with a higher consciousness, which is pure and selfless. If the midlife dilemma leads to such a situation in your life, that is a blessing of life. Even if you do not encounter such a dilemma, you are already living a blessed life.
Either way, Be Blessed always…
